After four months in America, I cannot be the same.
I just reevaluate my whole experience and i just thank God so often, without even having to remind myself to do this..
I just embrace gratefulness...
Here, maybe because so far away from my past, i just AM..which is great, being you just tastes differently..life is smoother..you don't have all this old mirrors, in the form of relatives and aquaintances, who wouldn't stop labelling you..
Because, as sad as it is, some people just keep on revolving around the same old stories and ideas all their life..the plot has been created, manifactured actually, and they are just puppets in this mainstream consciousness..
Sad, right??
So..four months away..i took a walk today, i took pictures and listened to music and danced while walking and smiled back at the cars and passers-by..then i just brethed in the Lake Tahoe view, as amazing as it is..!
And the thoughts in me were calm and fluent..something that i never had in me in Bulgaria,,
As I come to think to what exactly am I looking forward-it is only Kostilkovo-that amazing village in Bulgaria and all the poeple whoi participate in the GREEN SCHOOL VILLAGE project..i want to go there, to work, to dig the soil, to smell the earth, to talk to tha locals, who have a really unique dialect, to sit at night around the fire and sing folklore songs, to sing magically, as if the words emerge from my ancient soul and my voice is not any more mine, and all the voices around turn into one..can you feel it...
On the other hand I am really reluctant to seeing all the poeple in Plovdiv, where I study, I don't miss it at all...my University runs too clumsily and I am afraid my spirit would be drowned in the mundaneness...
I don' t miss my family...really, I do not miss them at all..I love them but the far-away love and "wish-you-the-best" attitude is far better in our situation..
You know what, I am sure God will arrange something for me..I will meet people on my way, and we will move on together..we will explore the world in another terms, through different eyes..:)
I want to hitchhike, and travel and move and i will do all these with LOVE!
